Pauline Moll

middle // Zacatecas, Zacatecas, Mexico

raindrops like acupuncture on bare arms
you offered me your sweater but i said no
like a boba
i know i formed sentences but my brain only said
bésala bésala bésala bésala bésala

on the roof
with the glittering cathedral in my soft focus
(because i couldn’t stop staring at you)
it seemed too perfect
like if i leaned in, the moment might splinter
and the façade might come crumbling—
and it was one of those cities where the law said
the buildings had to be preservados to historical accuracy
so i couldn’t risk destroying la fachada,
but i spent the whole car ride home regretting
not kissing you.

i swore i’d never again press a secret
behind stitched lips but we always break
promises to ourselves cuando vale la pena
and i never loved a girl with hazel eyes before
but i also never loved anyone who made room in their cluttered heart for me so

i guess there’s a first for it all

including kissing you on the side of the cerro, that smallish mountain
por primera vez in la luz del día
i wanted it to be in the madrugada, that time between midnight and when the birds open their eyes,
but i think it’s only because that’s my favorite spanish word and i wanted to
write this poem after.

it felt private enough to be real,
and when you said it was everything you hoped it would be
me dió riza
because it didn’t feel like a poem
it just felt like a kiss

(a really good kiss)

and i thought maybe this is what it’s supposed to be like

like i couldn’t write a young adult novel out of it
like we could write vows instead someday
like loving you already isn’t even scary
like maybe i trust your choices
enough that when you say i am worth it,
for once, i believe you.

intimate space where Pauline created middle listed above